


Beautiful Mosaic

by Palace_of_lies



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Abuse, Alpha Hannah (Supernatural), Alpha John, Alpha Sam, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Angst with a Happy Ending, Hurt Dean, Hurt Sam, Kinda Dark, M/M, Mating Cycles/In Heat, Omega Castiel, Omega Dean, Omega Mary, Past Rape/Non-con, Rutting, Sam tries to make things get better, Therapy, but not really, couples therapy, more tags will be added, no actual smut
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-03-11
Updated: 2018-06-26
Packaged: 2019-03-29 22:30:19
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,265
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13936761
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Palace_of_lies/pseuds/Palace_of_lies
Summary: Broken things aren’t supposed to be as pretty as Dean was. Sam realized that when it was too late. He wants to fix things but it’s hard to fix someone who has been broken for five years.(I️ really suck at summaries. Basically Sam has hurt Dean a lot for the past five years and when he realizes his mistake he tries to fix it all)





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first fanfic. This is only the first chapter and if you’re reading this thank you so much. If you wouldn’t mind could you leave some feedback because I️ didn’t really proofread it.

Dean was 20 the last time he was happy. It hasn’t been that long, only five years but he just doesn’t remember the feeling anymore. He doesn’t even remember feeling angry anymore. He knows he was angry for a while, all he used to feel was anger but now he’s just numb. 

Sam has him taking so many pills a day in order to not have to face his mistakes. Dean takes his pills but nothing’s changed he still can’t feel anything. Sam stopped pretending to care after they moved out so now it’s just Dean trying to fix himself. He does normal omega things; he goes to yoga classes, meditation classes, cooking classes, and even knitting classes just so he’ll have something to do. The classes don’t take the numbness away, it just adds to it because all the other omegas have pups and taking care of their alphas to keep them busy but he doesn’t have that. It’s not that he wants pups, that would just complicate things. Taking care of Sam wasn’t an option because Sam doesn’t even live with him and he’s not allowed to visit Sam’s dorm. He lives near the University that way Sam can come over whenever he’s in rut.

Everyday he wakes up hoping that something would change. That maybe the pills will start working and he’ll be happy again. That Sam would actually love him. That someone would see through the fake smiles. But nothing ever happens. He wakes up and stays in bed for another hour. It’s December 15th. He knows in just a few days he’ll be forced to hear John and Sam arguing again and his mother will once again try and tell him that once he has few pups his relationship with Sam will be good. Mary chooses not to see how much Sam has broken Dean and Dean doesn’t blame her, he blames himself for allowing it to happen. John on the other hand is just simply angry. Dean thinks John feels responsible when he really shouldn’t, this is all Dean’s fault.

The day goes by the same as always. They’ve moved on to Baking in his cooking class and made gingerbread houses today. His yoga and knitting classes are closed until January. In his Meditation class they changed the scent of the room to match the season. He gave his psychiatrist the gingerbread house because her kids loves his cooking. Today they just talked about Christmas and before leaving Dean was once again reminded to tell Sam about the panic attacks. Dean already told her it wouldn’t make a difference but if she insists he’ll go through with it.

After opening the door to his apartment Dean sighed. Sam’s home. He could smell the alpha from a mile away but he had hoped that it was his inner omega missing it’s alpha. Dean closes the door behind him and walks into the living room, where Sam is sitting and reading a book. Sam smells like home, safety, and all those things that an alpha should smell like but the smell never eases Dean’s nerves.

They don’t say anything to each other. Dean walks over to the couch and kneels like the submissive omega that he’s supposed to be. Sam reached out and runs his fingers over the bounding mark.

Dean feels guilty that this doesn’t make him happy. He knows this should make him happy. Sam is rarely ever gentle and this alone should at least make him feel grateful but he only feels guilt. 

Sam took the happiness away that night, Dean knows this but he still blames himself for letting it happen.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sam’s perspective.

Dean always protected Sam. There isn’t a moment in his childhood where he was hurt and Dean wasn’t there trying to make it all better. Dean was older so it was expected of him to do all those things but Sam knew why. No matter how much Dean tried to make their family look so perfect he still heard Mary and John fighting through the thin walls. He never understood why Mary and Dean were trying to make it look like it was all perfect when it clearly was not.

Once he got mature enough and was the Alpha that he always wanted to be for Dean, he screwed things up. He got too dominant, too fast. He wanted Dean just as the omega, he stopped wanting this for the person that he was. That’s what messed up everything. Dean wanted to make Sam happy and Sam just wanted to feel good.

The traditional way that their mating would have occurred was simple enough. He would have to talk to their parents, create a bond with Dean, and then the mating season would happen during Dean’s heat. None of that happened. As soon as he received the acceptance letter from Stanford it’s like everything changed. He waited three days before telling Dean.

Dean was laying on the couch watching Scooby-Doo when Sam got home from his stupid part time job. John and Mary had a thing (couples resort to work on their marriage) over the next couple of days so everything was pretty silent except for Dean’s occasionally laugh. Sam walked into the living room and placed his backpack on the ground near the couch before he got on top of Dean and kissed his forehead.

“Did you miss me?” Dean giggled, he rarely ever giggles. He only giggles and acts like an omega when it was just him and Sam. It made Sam feel special but tonight he wanted more than pecks and giggles, he deserved more or at least that’s what he told himself. 

Sam didn’t respond he just went after those perfect lips. Kissing was fine Dean wasn’t scared of kissing, there was nothing wrong with it. That was until Sam started to slid off Dean’s sweat pants. Dean quickly pulled away from said kiss to try to remind Sam of the plan but all he got for a response was a simple I️ don’t care as Sam moved on to kissing down his neck.

“What if I️ don’t want to? Sam please it’s not the right time” Sam remembers up to that moment. Everything else was just a blur of letting out all his pent up lust after his older brother. What he does remember is waking up next to a different Dean that had bruises plastered all over his perfect skin. Dean no longer looked at him with the same love and admiration, now it was anger and hatred. He took away a part of Dean without permission and that’s not okay. 

When John and Mary got home was when the real change happened. During the first of many fights with John that faithful morning Dean took his side. Not in words but rather action. He got behind Sam and pulled on his shirt until they both just looked at him and simply said “Sam is my Alpha now”. John lost his shit after that. He called it Stockholm Syndrome but Sam stopped caring he hurt Dean and yet the omega didn’t think twice before declaring him his Alpha.

Once they moved out Sam set everything up so Dean wouldn’t have to be around the person that hurt him. He got Dean his own place, he put Dean on medication hoping that would help, even signed him up for those stupid omega classes. Yeah during his rut he would come over and they would fuck like rabbits but other than that Dean was welcome to live another life, a Sam free life.

Four years of this and he was done with it. He was done with fighting with John all the goddam time. He was done with pretending like everything was great between them. He needed Dean back into his life. He needed to show Dean that he still loves him just as much as he had before that night. 

Sam was a smart kid. He planned it all out and by Christmas time this year they’ll be living together again.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Moving in.

Dean knows the drill, he knows the speech, the whys and the promises that Sam will be breaking as soon the new year comes around. If this time it was so different then they would have eaten dinner after Sam explained it to him. If it was to be different then the kiss after the talk wouldn’t be so harsh, at least it wouldn’t leave bruises. It things did change than Dean wouldn’t be waking up the next morning with new bruises all over his body from the night before. All this was evidence that nothing had changed. Sam never changes, it’s the reason why Dean barely feels anything anymore.

“So when do you wanna start packing?” That was different. Those words were different. Those words made Dean feel something. He couldn’t quite put his finger on it until the feeling was gone and it was back to the usual numbness. Sam asked the question while Dean was making breakfast. It was so casual as if the whole dynamic of their relationship wasn’t changing. Dean finally had a choice. It was small but he could make a decision and Sam was freely allowing him to do this.

Dean didn’t respond for what felt like a good five minutes as he finished making the eggs and bacon. He put the plate in front of Sam and received a kiss on the cheek. 

“Why are we packing? My things are already set to go to mom and dad’s.” Dean takes his seat across from Sam with a plate of just bacon in front of him. It’s what people, or more specifically, Sam excepts from him. 

“Baby you heard me last night. Things are going to change this time. I made a promise to you.” He breaks promises all the time, how come this time is supposed to be different? Dean wonders but says nothing. He simply nods.

“I already had my things moved to our new place, it’s pretty much everything we dreamed of. It’s close to the school and has plenty of Alpha and Omega families living there, so we can make new friends” Sam explains smiling and watching his Omega eat. Dean feels pressured to smile back so he does. It looks genuine enough that Sam doesn’t react.

“What about mom and dad?” Bringing up their parents is never a good idea. Dean instantly regrets the words as soon as they leave his mouth. He already knows how their parents will react; Mary will be elated and start talking about how she wants grandkids, and John will start to argue with Sam. Dean wonders what his mom really thinks. Behind all the Omega training, does she really believe having kids would make things better? Sam’s in Law School and has his internship to worry about so obviously he wouldn’t want a baby right now, plus their relationship isn’t stable enough for Dean to carry a healthy child to term. They barely even have a mated bond.

“Baby let’s not think about that now. Actually I was thinking about this. I have a lot of work to do to prepare for next semester so I don’t think we’ll be able to go home. I know that messes up our usual schedule but this means we have more bonding time.” Sam says this as though he’s just realizing the fact. Dean can tell that he’s been rehearsing this, he never wants to go home during holidays but he has to go because of Dean. It’s the one time of the year when he has to care about his family like a normal Alpha would. More bonding time just means they’ll be fucking from dawn to dusk while they avoid talking to talk to their parents. Dean knows this. He’s not an idiot. Sam is his Alpha after all. 

After breakfast Dean starts cleaning the dishes and Sam starts packing his things. It’s funny how he didn’t even answer the question of when he wanted to pack for Sam to already make a decision. When he was done eating he informed Dean that they would be leaving before night time because he was excited to spend the night at their new place. 

Dean has heard stories from the omegas in his classes about when they first moved in with their Alphas. This was a time when they would get closer and their bond solid enough for the Omega to start nesting. It’s supposed to be a beautiful time for both the Alpha and the Omega. His relationship with Sam should have already reached that point. They grew up together after all and fell in love during that time. When they decided that they would be together, before Sam changed, they planned it all out. Dean was going to live on campus with Sam as he got his bachelors degree and when he got into law school they would get their own place and have a dog, Golden retriever to be specific. By the time Sam would be done with Law School and working his first job Dean would be carrying their first baby. A part of him aches when he thinks about the nights where they would just talk about this stuff, about their perfect fairy tale life. It’s kind of funny how one night manages to change all of that. Now Dean just lives life. He doesn’t expect things to change.

Sam, on the other hand, can’t stop smiling as he packs Dean’s clothes because he thinks things are finally getting better.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please leave a comment telling me what you think of the story so far. Thank you!

**Author's Note:**

> This isn’t the end. There will be more chapter added soon.


End file.
